One Piece: Ship of fools Wiki
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Act 1[]

The sun was rising over the New World at the start of a brand new day of chaos, fighting, eating and generalised Sea Devil activities.

Anna: Namihime see anything?

Namihime: Nope....All clear all over the sea as far as i can see.

Benny: I smell a pun there!

Zero: Your sure that ain't your breath?

Benny: Hey!

Idate: Yeah you need to brush your teeth someday dude....

Benny: Baka...

Ayane: So plan?

Takeshi: The usual I guess...Find Akuma Pirates kill them and move on.

Zero: Or just find any scumbag thats looking for a fast burial and end them......

Ayane: So plan B?

Michi: Yep!

Meanwhile some where near to The Sea Devils, the peacefulness of the day was broken by constant activity aboard a rowdy, large ship.

Wyatt: Seriously! Who said you could steer the ship this morning?!

Drazil: Hey, come on. I don't need some guy I just met today telling me what I should and shouldn't do.

As usual, whenever Drazil managed to forget about Wyatt, Wyatt took it very seriously; making him lose his temper rather quickly.

Wyatt (angry): CUT IT OUT ALREADY!! YOU KNOW ME!!

Drazil (cluelessly): ...Oh, hey there. You a stowaway?

Wyatt (angrier): Nngh...! Tch...!

Unable to respond normally, all Wyatt could make out were frustrated grunts and other unidentifiable noises. Due to the commotion at the helm, with Drazil gripping the steering wheel and Wyatt biting his head off beside him, the other members of The Jolly Pirates took notice. Glory was the first of the crew to react to the scene unfolding; having begun walking towards the elevated balcony where the helm rested upon, from the sand covered deck below.

Glory: Wait, you were steering the ship without my directions?! That's suicidal!

Drazil looked behind his shoulder, with one hand still on the wheel, and the other pointing towards himself. He then gave Glory a confident grin, which almost sparkled in the morning light.

Drazil: You worry too much, lil' sis. Let your awesome big brother take care of things.

Needless to say, this only made Glory worry more, as Drazil's confidence in himself didn't translate out well in Glory's mind.

Glory (scared): I repeat!! THIS IS SUICIDAL!!

Drazil shook his head as he smiled teasingly.

Drazil: Ahh, little sisters...

Glory: Why are you even steering the Jolly in the first place?!

Wyatt (annnoyed): I've been asking him that all morning, but he keeps acting like he doesn't know me.

Drazil first gave Wyatt a puzzled look for a few seconds, before returning his attention to Glory behind him. This only served to infuriate Wyatt even more, to the point that steam was slowly rising over his head.

Drazil: Isn't it obvious? I'm giving you and Timber a break for once.

Glory: Wait, sir sleeps-a-lot is actually lending a hand?

Drazil then indignantly turned his head slightly over his right shoulder, away from Glory's direction.

Drazil (insulted): Hmph, how rude. Guess you don't want to know what I found out about Spike recently.

This immediately caught Glory's interest. Before anyone knew it, she had already made her way up the steps leading to the helm, and was by Drazil's side, with a pleading, happy look on her face.

Glory: Wait, what did you find out?!

Drazil (indifferently): Dunno, i'm too lazy to remember, right?

Glory (desperately): W-What I meant to say was...! Uh, sir HELPS-a-lot! Yeah! That was it!

Drazil: ...

Glory: C'MON DRAZIL!!

Glory then shot him a pair of puppy-dog eyes, hoping she could use her cute looks to get what she wanted. Having noticed this, Drazil decided to play along; all the while keeping up a cool, calm and collected attitude.

Drazil: Hmm, alright. I can't say no to my cute little sis after all.

Glory (thoughts): YES!! Victory!!

Drazil glanced over to his left side, just to see Glory's reaction. The expression on her face made her inner-most thoughts very obvious to read.

Drazil (thoughts): Aww, she thinks she manipulated me. She's too cute sometimes.

Smirking proudly, Drazil then leaned in to whisper something to Glory. Whatever the information was, it managed to make Glory squeel excitedly. Enough to be heard throughout the whole ship. Down on the terrace below, sitting on a white lawn chair, Lys grunted irritably in response to the noise coming from the helm. Without even thinking about it, she instinctively asked for silence in her own unique way.

Lys: WILL YOU IDIOTS CLAM THE HELL UP ALREADY?!!!

Drazil smiled the moment he heard her voice.

Drazil (playfully): Sure thing, sweetie!!

One of Lys' eyebrows twitched, showing her irritation. She decided to resume her isolation from the rest of the crew, and forget about the others. But not before letting out one small remark under her breath.

Lys (grunting/mumbling): Dumbass...

It wasn't long for the finally achieved stillness to be disrupted once again by a noticable rocking from underneath the ship. From beneath the bubbling surface, something was disrupting the hull.

Drazil: Hm? What now?

From atop the roof of the observation deck/crow's nest, a figure began to fall down towards the helm, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Chris (shocked): WAAAAAAAH~!!

Wyatt, standing beneath his descending captain, waved his arms in his panic, as he tried to keep another disaster from occuring.

Wyatt: WAH?!! CHRIS, NO!! FLY!! USE YOUR ANGEL THING!! FLY!! FLY!!!

It wasn't enough though. The next thing either of them knew, Chris had slammed into Wyatt, knocking the marksman to the floor with a sound thud.

Chris: Unnngh... What was that?

Wyatt, with Chris laying over him, struck Chris in the back of the skull with his fist. Being made out of clay, it didn't register at all to Chris that he was hit.

Wyatt (angry): I TOLD YOU TO FLY INTO THE AIR, DOOFUS!!

With the Jollys distracted momentarily, a large, serpentine beast slowly rose into the air above them; water dripping off of its scaly hide.

Timber: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!

With the rest of the crew converging to the deck to get a better look at what had just appeared, the creature, perhaps some kind of sea king, stared back down at them. It looked more like a stag beetle however, with its dark blue horns protruding out from its head in the shape of a trident. It had mandibles, or pincers of some sort, where its mouth should have been. The rest of its body was covered in a thick dark blue armor, while its underbelly appeared fleshy with a dark orange coloration. Lining either side of the bug-like beast were countless appendages; similiar in design to those of a centipede's or a millipede's. Its eyes were barely visible beneath the armor and behind the horns, making its sudden appearance a bit more terrifying to the crew.

Glory: OH CRAP!! A SEA STAG!!

Wyatt: Again, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!

Glory: It's something I learned about during the two years Chris and I were with the Red Hair Pirates!! These things are called sea stags!! Even though they look like sea kings, they're an entirely different species from them!! Thing is, they're more like locusts than beetles! They travel the seas in search of food, and when they come across a meal, they make short work in devouring it before moving on!

Aphro (Male Form; scared): PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE VEGETARIANS!!

As if to answer Aphro's question, a sort of thick liquid began to slowly descend from what appeared to be the mouth.

Wyatt: THEY EAT MEAT?!!!

Glory: They're actually omnivores!! They eat both planty material AND meat!! The Red Hairs pointed out how dangerous they were, because they make a habit of attacking traveling ships, and eating everything on board! Both the ship and the crew!

Wyatt, Aphro, Hope and Timber: THIS THING'S GONNA EAT THE ENTIRE SHIP?!!

Spike (steely gaze): Bring it on then. I needed a good wake-up call.

Chris (enthusiastically): Let's make it our new pet!!

Glory: To reiterate Shanks... NO WAY!!

Timber: Just leave it to me!!

With that confident remark having been said, Timber dramatically leapt up into the air.

Timber: Jolly MK II, Battle Mode~!!

Continuing the over-the-top display, a hidden hatch under the sand opened up, allowing Timber to fall in effortlessly. He then found himself within the hull of The Jolly MK II, with a large, rectangular-looking dashboard full of switches, lights, screens and buttons in front of him; with Timber sitting comfortably in the chair.

Timber: Ultra Timber, in position!!

From within the Jolly Yaku Yaku Cannon storage area, found within the main mast of the ship, Wyatt stood behind his faithful cannon. Like Timber, his voice seemed to appear through the ship's interconnected Transponder Snail, with the PA being attached to the top of the mast, just below the observation deck.

Wyatt: Infinite Wyatt, in position!!

With preparations out of the way, the cannon poked through a hole in the doughnut-shaped ring around the mast. Likewise, from beyond the metallic rings bolted and fastened on to Jolly's sides, a pair of large, operational metal hands flew out from either side. They were balled into fists and took up a fighting stance, as per Timber's commands.

Chris (excited): YEAH!! BEAT THE BUG!!

Not wasting a single moment, the sea stag lunged down towards The Jolly MK II, with mandibles widened for it to bite apart the ship.

Timber: OH NO YOU DON'T!!

With one swift punch from the right fist, one of the metal hands collided with the sea stag's mouth, knocking it backward. Following through, Wyatt unleashed his attack next.

Wyatt: IF YOU'RE SO HUNGRY, THEN EAT THIS!! JOLLY BOMBARDMENT: THUNDER NET!!

Launched from the cannon wasn't a standard cannonball, nor one of Wyatt's electrified variations, but rather, a condensed, wide fishing net-like object, made entirely of electricity. As it flew straight for the sea stag, it widened to ensnare the beast. Upon doing so, it mercilessly fried the still wet creature in a brilliant display of light. Accompanying the show was the sound of a sea stag desperately crying out in pain. When all was said and done, the sea stag fell over backwards, harmlessly returning to the sea. The crew, save for some certain members, cheered in joy.

Chris: Our ship's as cool as ever!!! Awesome work you guys!!!

Spike (smirking): That stupid insect had no idea who it was messing with.

Hope: I'm just glad everyone's OK. I was scared half to death there.

Glory remained the only one aside from Sakura and Lys to not show any signs of relief. Her face continued to show a sense of worry and anxiety.

Aphro: What's wrong Ms. Glory? This is a wonderful occassion. We just survived nearly being eaten!

Glory: It could just be nothing, but...

The others steadily began to take notice, the minute Glory trailed off. That was never a good sign, whenever danger was involved.

Glory: It just seemed odd, considering how easy that was.

Sakura: We've grown exceptionally powerful over time. Even the ship has improved exponentially. A simple sea monster has no chance fighting all of us together.

Glory: Oh, I know that. Just... Only one?

The others went silent after that. Something awful was just waiting to happen.

Lys (irritated): What do you mean "only one"?

In excellent timing as always, about five more sea stags began to rise out of the water and surround The Jolly MK II. Looking none too pleased, judging from the ominous postures and mashing of the mandibles.

Glory (frightened): I KNEW IT!! IT'S A POD OF SEA STAGS!!

Jollys except Glory, Sakura and Lys: A POD?!!

Glory: Sea stags are actually rather social creatures! They get along well with one another, and live in families known as pods! That explains why it felt so out of place that only one would show up!

Wyatt (angry): IS THERE ANY MORE YOU HAVEN'T TOLD US?!!

Glory (sheepishly and worried): Well, for starters... While they don't normally do so, because they're actually hunted by sea kings, thus explaining the pod structure, they can be quite aggressive when it comes to food and the pod. There have been records of them going as far as attacking and ganging up on unwary sea kings when pushed.

Sakura: So we effectively upset an entire family of creatures that have the guts to stand up to sea kings. This is looking rather dire.

Glory drooped her head in despair.

Glory (almost whining): That's the gist of it...

In response, Spike slammed his knuckles together as he glared at one of the nearby sea stags.

Spike: You can freak out if you want, but I relish the thought of taking these monsters on.

Sakura then began to unsheathe her sword, Momoran.

Sakura: I'm with Spike. I want to test myself against their carapaces.

Hanuman (grinning): Hanuman thinking of making breakfast soon anyway. Want to know if sea stag taste good.

Lys (disgusted): Ugh, i'm not eating that.

Interrupting the conversation, one of the sea stags let out a horrifying screech. Chris narrowed his eyebrows, showing his fierce, serious determination.

Chris: You're going down, sea bugs!!!

Now effectively provoked, the entire Jolly crew, ship and all, went into their first battle for the day. Needless to say, the sea stags were now in over their heads.

Back with the Sea devils who have stopped off on a small sandy island for some morning training, Zero had already begun his warm up witch still caused sand to fly into the air creating a mist. Zero's movements were sharp and powerful easy move creating air currents to circle his body.

Zero: Hēilóng chī duòluò de shén (Black dragon eats the fallen god)

Zero's movements increased in speed and grace as he preformed the 17th Kata in his fighting style. His power remained the same creating even more of a sand cloud, the low sweeps created the most almost a wall of sand. After he finish a trail of his movements showed in the sand.

Anna: Done?

Zero: Yeah....Got a weird feeling about today....

Takeshi: Haki sensed something?

Zero: Instinct....

Takeshi: Even worse....

Idate: Nah thats fun for me!

Aya: Same....

Ayane: Well if this is the case i just gotta say this....Zhànzhēng hé sǐwáng de shén liánmǐn wǒmen de dírén! (May the gods of war and death have mercy for our enemies)

Zero let out a roar of excitement that echoed through the air for miles around. Though oddly, as it died down, the location appeared different.

Spike: Just one more to go. Who's turn is it again?

In the meantime, while the Sea Devils were training, the Jollys had finally finished off four of the five sea stags; with Hanuman having collected large slabs of meat in a pile on the deck, thanks to Sakura's expert swordsmanship. Now there was only one left, and it didn't look any less upset than when it first attacked.

Chris: Seriously!! Don't kill it this time! I want a pet!

Lys: We already have three pets as it is! You should be satisfied enough!

Spike, rather cluelessly, began to count who these pets may have been on his fingers. He first considered Hanuman, obviously, and then Hope, due to her Cat Cat Fruit, Model: Black Footed Cat. But the third one eluded him, which created a look of bewilderment and frustration to appear. Drazil instantly noticed this, and wasted no second in pointing out the obvious.

Drazil (amused): She means you, Spike.

Spike nearly flipped out when he realized this.

Spike: WHAT?!! YOU STILL CALLING ME SOME KIND OF LIZARD YOU GOTH-?!!

Drazil: DRAZIL KICK!!

Before Spike could finish his insult, Drazil had used his "Drazil Kick" to send Spike flying for a small distance, before hitting the deck.

Drazil: Fight the sea stag, not my beloved Lys, imbecile.

Spike slowly began to try picking himself back up, with Glory showing her irritation in the background.

Spike: D-Damn it... Drazil...

Drazil merely flashed a thumb's up and a satisfied grin in response. Breaking up the scene, the sea stag screamed once again, drawing attention back to it.

Sakura: This is taking far too long. I will finish the beast.

Standing perfectly still against her larger adversary, Sakura made one single, horizontal swipe through the air with her sword. Without saying anything, not even a single attack name, Sakura unleashed multiple long, horizontal and compressed blades of air simultaneously. Ultimately, the blades cut through the sea stag with ease, chopping it into evenly sliced sections, which began to fall back into the sea below.

Chris (upset): MY PET!!

Accompanying the others in ignoring Chris' complaint, Timber motioned one of the metal hands to make a thumb's up gesture.

Timber: I have this under control!!

As Sakura calmly resheathed her sword, Timber used the large, man-made appendages to gather the falling slabs of meat and gently lay them down on the deck.

Glory (relieved): So glad that's over.

Emerging from the main mast, via the pulley-powered elevator and wooden sliding door, Wyatt rubbed the back of his head, showing he was just as relieved as the rest of them.

Wyatt: Man, that was random. One moment, we were hanging out, and the next, WHAM! Sea stag!

Hope: I wonder why it attacked us. Maybe it was hungry?

Something in Glory's mind then went off, after noticing Wyatt return from the Jolly Yaku Yaku Cannon room.

Glory (angry): I GET IT NOW!! YOU WERE ALL MAKING A BUNCH OF NOISE!! THAT'S WHAT LURED THE SEA STAG HERE!!

Jollys except Glory and Hanuman (flatly): Like you're doing now?

Hanuman (in unison with the others): Like Glory doing now?

Glory simply growled in the back of her throat as she menacingly glared at her crewmates.

Aphro (Female Form): <3 Oh Ms. Glory. You're so adorable when you're mad...! <3

Finally stepping out of his control room in the hull, Timber scratched the top of his head as he proceeded to reach the deck.

Timber: Well, that was eventful. What next?

Chris (pouting): Well if we had a pet, we could be thinking up cool names for it.

Spike and Glory: Give it a rest!

Glory: Look, like I told you guys last night, there's an island not too far from here. We should be coming up to it soon. If you're all still wound up from the sea stag attack, then you can let off some steam there, OK? But not before, so take it easy.

In true Drazil form, Drazil took what he believed to be an opportunity, and was resting his right arm around Sakura's neck and his left arm around Lys' waist, with a pleased smile on his face.

Drazil: Fully noted.

Sakura: How can I take it easy with you invading my personal space again?

Lys (angry): GET OFF OF ME!!

Glory (surprised): How is that taking it easy?!!

Drazil (teasingly): I think you ladies need to relax way more then I do.

To add emphasis to his statement, Drazil gave a flirty wink.

Drazil: You're all so high-strong today.

Glory simply turned her head to Timber, and gave him a tired, annoyed look.

Glory (weary): Go steer the ship.

Timber (nervous; sweatdrop): Aye-aye ma'am.

With things finally sorted out with, The Jolly Pirates continued the final leg of their most recent voyage, and began to close the gap between them and The Sea Devils who'd jsut left the island and started heading in their previous direction.

Zero: Where off to Ayane?

Ayane: Harem Island!

Benny: Harem?!?!?

Idate: Focus ya perv!

Benny: Why wasn't i told?

The other Sea Devils gave Benny a look as if to say "Do you really need to ask that?" Benny shrugged and looked back at his maps.

Zero: Info?

Ayane: Island is sperated into two areas the women sectors who run the island and the male sectors who are the lower classes and are treated poorly in comparrison...

Takeshi: Who leads the place?

Ayane: Queen Noballs

Anna: Odd name....

Idate: Sounds abit nuts to me....

Zero: Well nots head in half-cocked ok? If they don't like men we're kinda cocked....We got more men than women on this crew.

Meanwhile back with the Jollies who were still causing trouble amoung themselves.

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